08 12 / 2018

island-delver-go:

angel-of-death-2015:

sasrinthekobold:

catchymemes:

Let me just ask the police..

Why I think this is Florida?

This has to be Florida.

Aw nuts

Lol shit at least he was nice, it prolly was Florida

(via approach)

08 12 / 2018

onlyblackgirl:

chivalrouswooly:

Omfg lol

Someone gone try this with the wrong one and get shot.

(via shitboy96)

11 11 / 2018

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

quietstorm-thundathighs:

unaenanasinamor:

quietstorm-thundathighs:

image

facts

ahhh honey, people lie about being sick

Oh illiterate honey that isn’t the topic of discussion

always be suspicious when someone tries to derail a conversation by talking about people taking ‘advantage’ of a social safety net. brings this to mind:

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Places are even starting not to accept doctors notes…

(via supergringa)

28 10 / 2018

comicreliefmorlock:

undanewneon:

aridotdash:

themintycupcake:

madgastronomer:

hojolove:

vampireapologist:

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”

Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.

when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.

I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.

But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)

And the moral of the story is: Fuck ‘em, please yourself. Either they’ll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.

This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.

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https://xkcd.com/150/

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I would like you all to view my office. I’m thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me

I reached adulthood specifically to be able to decorate like a confused semi-Goth teenage girl and by the gods I have exercised that right.

(via comicreliefmorlock)

28 10 / 2018

thymelord:

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

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(via tastefullyoffensive)

28 10 / 2018

23 10 / 2018

starr-fall-knight-rise:

Pet Owner Training manual.

Chapter 1 

How to Keep Your Human Happy

As you have learned by now, this manual has nothing to do with the upkeep of beasts, but more about the upkeep of human companions. As we all know, the Galactic Assembly does not categorize the human as a Pet species, but there has been some call from nonhuman- coworkers for a manual on dealing with their human companions. 

The publishers of this manual were unsure how insulted humans might be on the creation of this manual and therefore put it under a different name for we know that humans have an odd hatred for following concrete instructions, and therefore usually do not read users or construction guides.

We would like to begin by  stating a truth universally known: Time and time again, history has proven that an unhappy human is a destructive human. As a super-complex emotional species, the human has many ways of being unhappy, they can be angry, sad, depressed, annoyed, frustrated, hurt, betrayed, or bored.

In turn the influence of their destruction can be wide ranging or even dangerous. The spectrum can range from self destruction all the way to homicide. 

Humans are more emotionally complex than any species in the galaxy, but they are also one of the youngest sentient species as well with an extreme connection to their animalistic instincts compared to more evolved species.

Not to say that the human isn’t intelligent. The cortical capacity of a human is as wide ranging as their emotional spectrum. They can range from a low G-6 classification with brain damage to an A-9 genius level. 

The human cortical capacity to learn and grow is beyond what we have seen from almost any other species. They need to learn, and they need to be occupied to satisfy the brain, and thus the emotions, in an engaging way. While we will be discussing all classified forms of human negative emotion, we are first going to begin with one of the most dangerous and brilliant of human motivations…. boredom.

Boredom is characterized as the feeling a human gets when they are not being cognitively challenged, and ignoring the signs can have dire consequences. 



The inside of a rundi prison couldn’t be categorized as very homey. It was almost…. nothing.

It was the absence of extremes. The white walls reflected all light, the floors were not to hard or to soft, the atmosphere matched average body temperature, There was nothing to look at, and nothing to talk about. There was hardly any background noise at all.

Krill might have found the environment relaxing if it wasn’t for his human companion pacing angrily back and fourth across the cell. 

Keep reading

13 10 / 2018

scary-stories:

When I was young, the walls of my bedroom would sing to me at night. I found the mysterious phenomenon soothing, and looked forward to it every night.

At eight years old, I mentioned it to my parents, and they brought me to a doctor, who concluded I had a wild imagination. This reassured my parents, and prompted me to keep quiet about it in the future.

Keep reading

(Source: redd.it, via scary-stories)

11 10 / 2018

flamestpatrick:
“ one-in-lemillion:
“ peteseeger:
“ one-in-lemillion:
“ peteseeger:
“ one-in-lemillion:
“ postmarxed:
“”
Alright I’m out of the loop, what’d she do wrong that y’all want her dead
” ”
She herself had no part in that tho. What’d she do...

flamestpatrick:

one-in-lemillion:

peteseeger:

one-in-lemillion:

peteseeger:

one-in-lemillion:

postmarxed:

image

Originally posted by pizza-swift89

Alright I’m out of the loop, what’d she do wrong that y’all want her dead

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She herself had no part in that tho. What’d she do personally is what I’m asking.

To quote James Connolly: “We will not blame [her] for the crimes of [her] ancestors if [she] relents the royal rights of [her] ancestors; but as long as [she] claims their rights, by virtue of descent, then, by virtue of descent, [she] must shoulder the responsibility for their crimes.”

Y’know that’s fair actually

Never seen someone actually change their stance on this site, RT for good luck

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

11 10 / 2018